Episode 222: Retest

In Which: Alex and Justin face losing their wizarding powers forever--unless they can convince their long-lost Aunt Megan to help them out. Jalex hugs (yes, hug-s) abound!



JALEXCAP
Jerry is giving Alex, Justin and Max a wizard lesson in the lair. He starts by showing them how to make lemons out of lemonade: squeezing lemon juice into water. After this demonstration, Alex tries to duck out of the lesson early: "Oh, I'm sorry, I can only learn one new thing a week, so I guess I'll just see you guys next week then!"

Suddenly Kelbo (dressed up as a Viking) appears. After explaining his latest trip through time--beating Columbus to "discovering America," which Alex finds hysterical--he tells Jerry that he's been informed by the Wizard Council that due to "some sort of technicality," the results of their own wizard competition have been declared invalid. "We have to take our wizard test again," Kelbo tells Jerry, "ALL of us. You me and...somebody else."

Justin: Who's "all of us"?
Jerry: No one!
Alex: Okay, we're not four years old. We know that "no one" means "someone"!

Jerry is forced to admit that he and Kelbo have a sister, Megan. Justin and Alex are shocked that they have an aunt that no one told them about. Jerry explains that when he won the wizard competition and gave his powers to Kelbo, Megan was furious and turned her back on the family. Kelbo says that the Wizard Auditor is coming on Friday for the re-test, and if Megan doesn't show up, all of the Russos (including the kids) will lose their powers. Justin is particularly upset, and he suggests that they find Megan in time for the test. Jerry says no one knows where Megan is, but Justin is determined.

Justin: Dad, we've gotta do something! We all know that I was the one that was gonna win!
Alex [with sympathy]: I know and you worked really hard, too. You must feel terrible. [pauses and thinks a second] Hmm. Suddenly Slacker Girl over here isn't looking so dumb anymore, is she?

Justin gets online (the Wizarding Web) to try to locate Megan. After Theresa tells him that Megan has a police record (when Jerry introduced Theresa to Megan, Megan threw Theresa's empanadas off the terrace and hit a cop) Justin finds a "Megan Russo" living in Paris. He suggests that Jerry go apologize to Megan, but Jerry says he would rather force her to take the test by sitting on her and dangling a loogie over her face.

Theresa tells Alex, Justin and Max to go on their own. Unfortunately, they agree to let Max recite the spell and they end up taking a detour to Paris, Texas before they land in Megan's apartment in Paris, France (wearing goofy blue foam cowboy hats).

Megan is a slim, dark-haired artist, and her apartment is filled with her artwork. When Megan finds out that the kids are Jerry's children and that they need her to re-take the wizard test, she refuses and tells them that she's still angry that Jerry won and then gave his powers to Kelbo.

She actually channels this anger into paintings, one of which shows Jerry and Kelbo being chased by a shark while Megan speeds away in a boat.

Max: Wow, she really knows how to hold a grudge.
Justin [looking at Alex]: Sounds like someone else we know.
Alex: Don't look at me like that, I'm still mad at you for the last time you said I hold a grudge.

As Max points out, Megan is actually a lot like Alex ("She's like your weird, older-looking twin!"). That inspires Justin and Alex to take a new approach--first, Justin tries to appeal to Megan's selfish side by pointing out that she might be able to win the powers back for herself. Then Alex jumps in and tries to appeal to Megan's pride by lying and saying that Jerry and Kelbo plan to apologize.

Justin pulls Alex aside and demands to know what Alex is doing. Alex says that lying about the apology is the only way to get Megan to go back with them. Justin rightly asks what will happen when they get home and Jerry refuses to apologize, and Alex says she plans to "wing it." Then she tells Megan that Jerry and Kelbo are going to be on their knees, begging forgiveness. Megan finally agrees to go.

When they get to the sub station, Jerry and Megan are not happy to see each other--especially once Megan says she is expecting Jerry to apologize to her. They start arguing, as Justin and Alex watch.

Justin [to Alex]: Start winging it, Captain Flappers!
Alex: Captain Flappers?
Justin: I'll think of something better, just go!

So Alex runs over to Jerry and Megan, says a line about how much Megan missed Jerry back in Paris, and then quickly runs back over to Justin's side.

Megan [to Jerry]: I was told you were going to be on your knees for this.
Justin [to Alex]: She's just like you!
Alex: No she's not.
Jerry [to Megan]: The only way I'm getting on my knees is if I'm sitting on you, dangling a loogie over your face!
Megan: Then why did I even come back to your stupid restaurant/train station??
Jerry: IT'S A SUB SHOP.
Justin [to Alex]: Just like you!
Alex: I don't see it.

Then Kelbo arrives. When he sees Megan he assumes that she's there to take the test. Megan says she wants an apology first because she's mad that Jerry gave his powers to Kelbo instead of to her. Jerry points out that Kelbo needed the powers more than Megan did, and that Kelbo's life would be a travesty without magic.

Justin sees that they're getting nowhere, so he gets down his knees and apologizes to Megan on Jerry and Kelbo's behalf. But Megan still doesn't see the point in retaking the test since she knows Jerry will win again and give his powers to Kelbo again just like before. "And all of my hard work will be for nothing," she adds, "and I really don't like hard work." Justin shoots a knowing look at Alex, who mutters, "Oh my gosh, she IS just like me."

Megan gets Kelbo to transport her back to Paris. Once she's gone, Justin blames Alex for "winging it" and Alex snaps that at least she got Megan there, which is more than Justin did. Justin thinks it might be possible to find a legal loophole that will let them keep their powers, so Kelbo gets in touch with a lawyer friend of his--who happens to be a goldfish.  Theresa, meanwhile, is actually excited at the thought of a magic-free house, and the chance to get all of the magic stuff out of the lair.

After the goldfish lawyer says that there's no legal way out of the situation, Kelbo leaves for Atlantic City. Justin gives up hope and says they are all going to lose their powers thanks to Alex.

Alex feels guilty enough to unload on Harper later that evening. She worries that she's going to end up like Megan, with her whole family hating her. (Except when you think about it, which family members are angry? Max doesn't seem to care. Jerry is upset with Megan, not Alex. Theresa doesn't even like magic. That leaves...Justin.)

Theresa interrupts Alex's pity party with a plan of her own--she has Alex transport them both to Paris, where Theresa confronts Megan (apparently Theresa's had a change of heart where magic is concerned, and now she doesn't want the kids to lose their powers). Even though Theresa makes a passionate plea on behalf of her children, Megan again refuses to take the test. Still, something about the visit seems to inspire Alex. "I'm not going to let magic do this to us," Alex says, just before she and Theresa transport back to the station.

Alex runs down into the lair and finds Justin and Max packing up the wizard stuff.

Alex: Guys, we need to talk. About a lot of things.
Justin: No we don't. We're done talking to you, Alex.
Max: We're packing.
Alex: Don't you see what this is doing to us?? We haven't even finished the wizard competition and we're already fighting like Dad, Kelbo and Megan.
Justin [angry]: Since when have you EVER cared about the wizard competition, Alex?
Alex: Since I figured out it was tearing us apart!

Alex: Guys, do you know what we need to do? We need to put aside our differences, come together and show the Wizard Council that the Russos aren't going to take this lying down.
Justin [intrigued]: Continue.

Alex: Sure, we annoy each other. [to Max] And sure, you're probably not going to amount to anything. And sure, I might end up along the side of a highway, wearing an orange jumpsuit, picking up trash. But you know what I like to call that? I like to call that family. If there's one thing I've learned about family, it's that if we stick together, nothing can hurt us.
Justin [staring at Alex and slowly starting to smile]: Well, we're going to lose our powers anyway, so what else do we have to lose?

Alex runs to Justin and hugs him, and they stay like that for a second while Max jumps to his feet and says, "Yeah, let's do it!" Justin points out that tomorrow will be a big, long, emotional day. Alex (who thought the wizard auditor was coming TODAY) suggests that they meet tomorrow morning to re-do the speech just before the wizard auditor comes to see them. Justin responds by turning his heel and walking out of the room, and Alex chases after him with Max bringing up the rear.

The next day, the wizard auditor has arrived and is meeting with Jerry and Kelbo in the lair. Jerry admits to the auditor that Megan isn't coming, and the auditor says he's going to have to take their powers (which are located in a fuse box on the wall of the lair). Before he can, Alex, Justin and Max come running into the room and Alex cheerfully announces that they quit.

Justin grabs her arm and hauls her out of the lair and into the kitchen.

Justin: WHAT are you DOING??
Alex: I'm winging it!
Justin: You gave a big, inspirational speech for THAT?
Alex [smiling, flattered]: Well, first of all, thank you for remembering my speech! And second of all, you're family and you're gonna wing it with me.
Max: We're behind you, General Flappers!
Justin: Will you stop saying that? I wasn't happy with it.

Justin has them all put their hands in a circle and then cheer "RUSSOS!"

Then they run back into the lair, where Alex gives another speech, this time to the auditor.

Alex: Ever since this retest came up, I've learned a little something about us Russos. We don't need powers to make us a family, and we're not going to let wizard powers break us apart. And my brothers are behind me.
Justin: You know what, she's right. I don't want to end up losing these guys. I quit too.
Max: Alex had a great speech yesterday, and the parts that I remember were very moving. I quit too.
Alex: Yay family!

Jerry says he's proud of the kids for sticking together. Kelbo, anticipating the end of his powers, transports out of the lair. Alex runs over to the fuse box, takes the power sticks out, and hands them to the auditor.
Then the auditor surprises them all by announcing that he's so moved by what he's seen here today that he's decided to let them keep their powers after all.

Justin objects that that would be against the rules, but Alex stops him and tells the auditor, "You're bending the rules. I'm a rule bender. He's Johnny Honest. So let's forget about him." The auditor makes them promise not to tell anyone that he's let them off the hook. Then he leaves.

Alex: Guys, I'm sorry I got us into this mess in the first place.
Justin: Mmm. You're not at all like Aunt Megan.
Alex: But I complain, I make fun of you guys, and I hardly do any work. I'm exactly like Aunt Megan.
Justin [smiling]: Well, a lot of that is true.... No. You apologized. You did. That's something that Aunt Megan has never figured out how to do.

For the second time this episode, Justin and Alex hug.

Jerry suggests that they unpack the boxes. Alex wants to let Max try, but Justin says he doesn't want to go to Paris, so he takes the wand from Alex and says, "Love on the rocks, unpack the box-es." The lair goes back to normal.

During the ending credits, Alex, Kelbo, Max and Justin prank-call Megan, who knows that it's them because she can see Kelbo's "wand number" on the caller ID. Alex asks Justin what they should do and Justin points out that she forgot to dial "pound-horse-unicorn" first. Cute scene that I guess is supposed to show that things between Megan and the rest of the family are going a little better, in spite of her failure to apologize.

[All pictures are from these YouTube videos, uploaded by therealcheyenneN]